Murmurs on Heartstrings
by Corgin
Summary: Sequel to Things Left Unsaid, Thor fic. Loki never expected forgiveness from Thor, or another chance - a chance to be a better man. After Avengers Movie. Loki x Darcy
1. Prologue: Ripples

**SPOILERS - THIS TAKES PLACE AT THE END OF THE AVENGERS STOP NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.**

_Important authors note: Loki x Darcy. Greetings readers. This is a sequel to Things Left Unsaid, an unfinished Thor fanfic. You can go back and read it (although I find the writing a little shaky, and it finishes by tapering off into this fic) or you can read by abridged version of what you need to know, which is as follows: Loki and Darcy have feelings, Loki is tortured by Jotunns, Darcy gets upset because Loki is traumatized, and Loki snaps out of it and says sorry and they spend a night together on Christmas Eve. In the morning Loki says he has to go (even though he told her he would stay!) and Darcy never sees him again. This fic leaves a gap in time (probably about a year?) and picks up right at the end of The Avengers, which you have now undoubtably seen. Enjoy?_

o

**Murmurs on Heartstrings**

a sequel to

**Things Left Unsaid**

Prologue: **Ripples**

By: **Thessaly Corgin**

o

He felt a ripple through his body as they left Earth behind, and although his brother was standing beside him Loki had never felt so alone in his life. Silence hung beside them, the things left unsaid weighing down his every thought, and for the first time since he had left Darcy, Loki was unable to think. The expanse of the cosmos spread before the pair, and without hesitation Thor unchained Loki and freed him of the dreaded apparatus on this face. It was obviously time to talk.

"I'm disappointed. You upset a lot of people."

Thor's words were condescending and blunt, the simplicity of the statement stinging Loki's already crumbling pride. He'd basically destroyed the capital city of the _world, _and all Thor could say of it was that he had 'upset' people.

"I did a fair measure more than that, brother. You must at least give me _some_ credit."

No emotion flashed across Thor's face as he looked at Loki from the corner of his eye, and his expression remained that of a disappointed parent.

"I can't comprehend why you would want any credit for what you've done - if that's how you feel I should have just left you on Earth with Nick Fury. In Asgarde you will learn to live again as a god, not some piece of scum who needs the satisfaction of ruling a weaker race. I feel you would be better use among friends."

Loki wasn't sure what bothered him more: his brother's immaculate composure, or the fact that he was being treated like a mindless dog to be reprimanded. Still, he couldn't help but notice that Thor seemed to have another option in mind.

"There are no friends left for me in Asgarde, I saw it on their faces as I sat upon my throne. You know that the only thing left in anyone's heart for me is pure animosity... they think I'm a monster."

"You are a monster, Loki, and that's why you need help. We can still work together."

Loki couldn't believe that after everything - the death, destruction, betrayal - Thor still believed that they could ever _work_ together. Thor cracked his composure for the first time, giving Loki a saddened smile.

"I knew you went to Earth after you fell. I know that you developed lasting relationships with people - with her - and I know that you gave it all up in search of some greater power. I saw who you became, Loki. I saw not a god - a man - who wasn't afraid to say he was sorry or admit his flaws or fight for someone."

"YOU SAW NOTHING."

Loki snapped, feeling the power flowing through his fingers and his eyes blazing. Thor didn't reach for Mjolnir or move, instead holding Loki's gaze strong. Loki relaxed after a few moments.

"I fought for her and I gave her up. I found something I wanted more - something that the Jotunn's felt when they tortured me in those mountains. Pure and raw _power. _It's something you could never understand - the feeling of towering over a puny soul who hardly had the courage to quake in their boots. The feeling of a real king."

As the last words left his mouth Loki couldn't help but feel a wave of inadequacy wash over him. Thor's eyes were grey and cold, the lines of his face more pronounced - as if his once ageless body had finally started to grow old while Loki stayed young and foolish.

Thor's response was simple: "You have never known what it feels like to be a real king... but you have known what it feels like to be a real man, and that's something I will never have."

Asgarde spilled out in front of them like a fortress - golden spires and rivers reaching up and rolling forth from behind the tall, gleaming gates. Loki clenched his hand for a second as he was filled with a sense of homesickness; he could almost taste the wine. Thor took a deep breath.

"And now, brother... I'm giving you a chance you don't at all deserve. You come back with me now - you come home... or you go back to Earth and live as a man."

"A... man?"

"It's a privilege you don't even come close to deserving... but I think it's also a suitable punishment: making you live as a weak ant you once tried to step on. It's your choice."

"My choice..."

Loki echoed. All he could think about was his year prior to his desperate struggle for power and the time he had spent in that little facility in New Mexico. He could still almost feel the chilled nights and the hot breath and the musty smell of the old library he had helped organize. He remembered his drifting eyes and the way his hands strayed to her, the feeling of a piece of long brown hair around his finger. He could still smell her perfume, and see her face crumble in sorrow as he left her that night, leaving her with only a playful smile to imply that he would one day return.

He'd watched her for weeks and weeks as she floated around like a ghost, packing away her apartment and office as the New Mexico S.H.I.E.L.D facility was shut down and Erik Selvig was moved into a higher security clearance area. She returned to New York, she went back to school, she waited tables and practiced politics and fell asleep on the small desk in her shoebox apartment crying and wondering why she couldn't fill the gap in her heart.

"I... I don't know if I could..."

"You broke her, Loki. You told her that you would stay, that you were sorry, and you left before the rise of the sun that Christmas morning. I've made my choice: you can live knowing what you've done to her, and knowing that you've caused damage to a planet that no one will ever repair - you've caused tremors than have rippled into the lives of every human. Nothing will ever be the same, and you can experience that first hand."

The sky went black.

o

Before Loki could comprehend the choice his brother had made for him, he found himself on a street littered with crumbled buildings, a briefcase in his hand. His back ached and his fingernails felt split, and for the first time in his life he thought he might have been sweating.

Without taking time to think, analyze or find himself a way out of his foreign situation, Loki took his first step onto the streets of his recently destroyed Manhattan and started his life as a freshly broken man.

o

**A/N: Hope it wasn't too brief, I just wanted to start writing the real stuff and get the "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING out of the way. **


	2. Chapter 1: Green

**Murmurs on Heartstrings**

a sequel to

**Things Left Unsaid**

Chapter 1: **Green**

By: **Thessaly Corgin**

o

"Okay Miss Lewis. Can we go over that again? Linsey made very vague notes about this... what did you call him? Lochlyn?"

"Loki. His name was... is... Loki."

Darcy fiddled with her finger nails uncomfortably, inspecting them for a fourth time and making sure that they were all even. The woman sitting across from her had warm skin and a cold face, her eyes studying Darcy's every move and measuring her every habit. The old shrink had moved out of New York after the recent alien invasion, so Darcy was going through the traumatic event of dealing with a new psychologist.

"Now, Darcy. Loki seems to be a major stress point for you... do you want to tell me what happened in your relationship?"

"I've told Lindsey before, you should have her notes. I don't want to go over it again, it makes me nervous."

It was too late, Darcy was already thinking about it and she felt herself tapping her foot reflexively to calm her anxiety. Before the other woman could interject, Darcy started to talk.

"We worked together, it was nice. There was always some tension between us, and he became my best friend - my only friend - other than Jane. We were really, really ridiculously close and there was no one in the whole world who I wanted more, and I was sure he felt the same. Then it got weird.

"Weird?"

"Yeah, he disappeared for a while and I think he had some kind of... traumatic experience. Lindsey said it sounded like post traumatic stress. He wasn't himself and I felt like I had lost the person I loved most. After a few months he seemed to snap out of it."

"Okay, and then where did the problems come from?"

"We... made up. I forgave him, I wanted him back and I just wanted everything to return to normal and I.. and..."

Darcy put her hand on her leg to stop herself from repetitively tapping her foot because she could see it was wearing on the psychologist. She took a deep breath and continued,

"And then when I woke up the next morning he was gone. I never saw him again. The project I was working on with Jane was shut down, and I had to return here for school. It's been a year and I... I don't think about it... I can't... just..."

She felt as if ever word she had ever thought of was slipping away from her, tumbling into some abyss in her chest that had inexplicably opened up as she was talking. She had never managed to block her time with Loki out of her mind completely - that was impossible. But she had made an effort to stay active and fill up all of her free time with tasks in order to keep her mind busy. Originally she had only meant to be hung up on him for a month or two, but it had already been a year and she still couldn't breathe whenever she thought about being left behind.

"I... I can't talk anymore. I'll be back next week."

Darcy quickly stood up and scurried out of the room, gasping for breath as she ran down the stairs and out onto the streets below. The buildings of the East Village were low set and friendly, allowing her to take in air as she started rearranging her mind.

It had been a month since the invasion, and New York was still an utter mess. Most of the debris had been cleared and the blood on the streets washed away, but Darcy could still feel a deadly chill with each corner that she turned. Many had fled Manhattan after the unexpected and violent alien attack - some from the aliens, some from 'The Avengers', yet still some stayed behind: namely students. The East Village hadn't been hit as severely as Midtown or the Upper East Side, but no matter where you went you could see towering cranes reconstructing the monstrosity that was once the Stark Tower.

For a month - since the attack - four words had been bouncing in her head, printed across her eyelids every time she closed them to sleep. She never said it but she saw it scrawled across the walls like graffiti, printed on the subway signs, written on her Facebook... she knew it wasn't really there but instead was haunting her like a ghost waiting to be set free into the afterlife. She wanted to tell Jane - Jane would understand and Jane would have something to say about it... but instead she told no one, cooping herself up in her tiny room and waking up in pools of tears on her computer desk, her face stuck to the pieces of paper she had fallen asleep reading.

She walked for a moment and then sat down on the curb, resting her head in her hands and rubbing her eyes, before finally saying the words and feeling the freedom of releasing them into the air.

"I think he's back."

She said quietly, knowing already that they were the truest words she's ever said.

"And I think it was all his fault."

o

Media coverage on the invasion had come in a burst and had been scarce on details. She never actually saw him on the television but she had heard through the S.H.I.E.L.D. grapevine that there was some mysterious figure - a fiercely intelligent figure - in charge of the whole attack. On some of the videos she watched over and over of the aliens, she thought that she might have seen a flash of green, a glimmer of hope, the swish of an emerald cape. On those nights when she was especially lonely she would take out the emerald earrings he had given her the Christmas prior - and couldn't help but notice that they matched the green cloaked figure she seemed to be imagining.

University didn't do much to keep her occupied - it had been cancelled because of all of the destruction. S.H.I.E.L.D had no more tolerance for her (she was only ever a minor employee) and Jane had stopped communication after the apparent return of Thor. She spent hours staring at her computer monitor, refreshing her various email accounts and hoping - desperately - that someone would reach out to her.


	3. Chapter 2: The Wake

**Murmurs on Heartstrings**

a sequel to

**Things Left Unsaid**

Chapter 2:** The Wake**

By **Thessaly Corgin**

o

The day was dark and dreary with the rain was flooding the gutters, but that didn't stop her excitement when she saw a familiar black car pull up on the street outside. She wanted to scream with relief: finally something was happening! For the whole month the S.H.I.E.L.D networks had gone quiet, and she had absolutely no idea what had gone on. She waited in anticipation, expecting Coulston to be at her door at any moment; when she opened the door her face only fell.

"Hello Miss Lewis," the unfamiliar suit said, "It was requested by Jane Foster that I pick you up. Perhaps you'd like to put on something more suitable, black perhaps?"

The man wore the S.H.I.E.L.D badge and had the same cool yet violent air of Agent Coulston, but he wasn't the same - he was too polite.

"Jane… I…"

Darcy met the eyes of the man, realizing how sombre his expression was: his eyes distant and mouth clenched tightly closed. Jane wasn't asking for a social call, obviously. Without wasting another second she ran to her room, quickly throwing on whatever she had on the floor.

Darcy rarely went through the city by car, it wasn't really a luxury she wanted to waste her money on. S.H.I.E.L.D still paid her out as an employee every month, but it wasn't really enough to live large. Buildings turned to water, to trees, to rolling hills as they drove on into the afternoon. After what felt like hours they pulled into one of the open fields, Darcy's mouth dropped open in shock.

People were scattered all over the field, some recognizable and some all too familiar. Shoes were caked with mud and suits were wet, guests desperately trying to huddle under their black umbrellas. Tony Stark stood talking to a large circle of listeners, assumably bragging about some huge feat he accomplished during the alien invasion. Behind him Pepper stood solemnly, draped in a long black dress and a black lace veil, checking something on her phone. Looking down at her jeans and t-shirt, Darcy felt vastly inadequate. People who she recognized but didn't know stood together chatting idly - Steve, Clint, Natasha - and no one seemed the least bit pleased. Finally she spotted Jane, who stood with a surprisingly cleaned up Thor.

It was odd seeing Thor dressed and groomed, as she had either known him as a tag along hippie or some kind of god.

"Jane!" Darcy yelled, running over to the pair, "Jane what's going on?"

The pair embraced briefly, and Darcy realized Jane was crying.

"It.. I'd finally gotten used to not seeing him around headquarters. It feels so empty and heartless... I'd finally started to adjust, and… and then this. Why did they have to leave it so late?"

Darcy looked to Thor and then back to Jane, her stomach sinking as she tried to figure out who had died.

"Jane… I don't know what happened…"

She said, looking around and trying to pick out who was missing. Before she could, an all too familiar voice boomed across them.

"Ladies and gentlemen… I'm sorry to interrupt but I ain't standing here in the rain all day. Let's get on with it."

Everyone turned at once and started walking towards the coffin, standing for lack of chairs. Nick Fury had no microphone and stood on the same level as everyone else, the rain running down his face.

"Now Phil Coulston was a good man, better than most. He did is duty better than you bunch of vagabonds, and because of that he lost his life."

Fury wasn't at all subtle about his sweeping glance towards The Avengers as he said the word 'vagabonds'.

"He wasn't just an agent, he was a part of the damned furniture. The man was a fixture, and I'm pretty sure we're all noticing how empty it is around here without him. He's left a big hole, and no one is ever going to fill that."

Darcy felt her body go numb, suddenly feeling dizzy and confused.

"But we all move on, as it is in our nature. We can't mourn our friend for the rest of our lives. We have an organization, a city, a nation to rebuild, and that aint gonna happen if we're all crying ourselves to sleep. Just be happy you're alive, and you still have a world to protect."

Darcy stood in a daze as one by one, agents, people and members of the Avengers stood up to speak. Steve Rogers said something about American heroes, his voice echoing clearly through the fields. Natasha and Clint each took a turn to talk about some funny experience they'd all had together as agents. As they cycled through Darcy got more and more stuck in her own head, trying to understand how and what had happened. Was Loki responsible?

"So uh.. I'm going to talk about Greg now."

Tony Stark's voice cut through her thoughts, causing her to look up. Pepper, panicked, ran up to Tony and whispered something in his ear. Tony cleared his voice and started again.

"Phil. I'm going to talk about Phil. You'll have to forgive me, I'm not used to talking in front of people."

His signature sly grin evoked a dry laugh from the crowd, which quieted quickly.

"There are good men and there are bad men. We've all had a run in with a very bad man - uh, god, actually - who took from us a very good man. Now I'm going to be honest here: I didn't really know the guy. But I do know how much he meant to every single one of you, and because of that he means that much to me."

His gaze cast towards Pepper, who looked back with watered eyes.

"We're rebuilding lots of things right now, as Commander Fury said. Our hearts, our relationships, our city. But we're not building them the same way we did, no. We're building them stronger, better than before. Our hearts will ache and our relationships will forever be burdened with the weight of what we've shared… but some times things are destroyed to make way for something more, that couldn't have been created without loss."

Darcy noticed Nick Fury listening to something on the receiver on his ear, and then quickly pace up to Tony, who stopped talking. The crowd looked to each other and shrugged as Fury whispered something in Tony's ear.

"Okay everyone!" Tony said with a clap of his hands, "Looks like the media found us, they're on their way with helicopters and all sorts of goodies. Let's skedaddle back to my place for drinks before all of the damned reporters get here."

Like magic everyone began to disperse with quick, driven steps into helicopters and various other vehicles, disappearing before Darcy could make any sense of anything that could happen. Like a sheep she was herded into a car by Jane, staring numbly at the seat in front of her. Thor sat just a seat away from her, and the question she wanted to ask burned behind her eyes like a headache.

"How did he die?"

Was the question she settled for, hoping it would lead to the information she craved. Both Jane and Thor cast their eyes downwards, Jane fiddling with her fingernails.

"Stabbed. He was…"

Her voice trailed off and she looked to Thor, and Darcy strained her ears as if she could hear the wordless conversation that went between them.

"It was… Loki…"

Thor said quietly, not breaking eye contact with Jane. Darcy felt her fingertips burning, her stomach churning as her mind exploded on her, the breath knocked out of her.

"Pull over the car!" Jane yelled, knocking on the glass between them and the driver, "Pull it over right now!"

"Two hundred journalists will be here in minutes, Jane, Commander Fury told us to go right to the Avengers Tower."

"I don't care… just… pull over."

With a sigh the driver pulled over, stepping out of the car with his gun. As the other three poured out Thor looked the agent up and down.

"Do you think that a gun will protect us from the cameras, from the questions?" He asked the man with a smile. The agent waved him away, muttering something about how a hammer wouldn't be any better.

The road was lined with a wire fence and a sparse dusting of grass, trees fading off into a darkened forest as far as the eye could see. The edges of Darcy's vision darkened as she collapsed onto the ground, coughing violently and trying not to vomit. Everything she had worked through, all of the hurt she had come to terms with flooded her all at once, shades of emerald green dancing before her eyes.

"He-he didn't love me," she coughed, grasping her chest as if it would make the pain leave, "He loved violence more than he loved me."

Thor shook his head as he kneeled down, resting a hand on Darcy's shoulder, "It was nothing to do with you," he said simply, making firm eye contact, "Loki is a twisted mind, crafted and honed from years of impossible expectation and mistruths. Loki wanted to rule, he wanted to feel his feet on top of others. Love was never a part of any of it."

Slowly, with the help of Jane, Darcy stood up and walked back to the car, resting her head against the inside window as the made their way gradually back towards Manhattan.

o

Stark building, aptly renamed The Avengers Tower, was beautiful to say the least. While the top levels were still being reconstructed, the bottom levels were lined with high ceilings adorned with murals, marble floors and winding stair cases. What was once clean cut and business-like was now ornate and classical, especially what was serving as the grand ballroom. The ceiling was painted with a grand stretch of The Avengers, heroically standing in a circle as they faced some unseen adversary. The painting was immaculate and accurate, a pleasure to the eye.

The marble floors were polluted by the squeaking feat and dripping water of the wake attendees, all gratefully accepting hot, cold and alcoholic drinks from a variety of waitstaff. Along the walls were chairs and long stretching tables, dotted with just about any food you'd ever imagine to find on a tray. Tony Stark was sparing no expense on such occasion.

Darcy sat on a chair along the side, desperately trying to make herself hungry as she eyed up the most amazing food she'd seen since the Stark Industries Gala the year before. Her eyes moved along the chocolate strawberries, fresh crayfish, baked potatoes, sesame fried noodles. No matter which cuisine she tried to convince herself to eat, she could only feel her stomach curled into a ball as it cramped time and time again from nervousness. Not even a drink appealed to her.

"Darcy… I know it's hard… but you've got to leave it all behind."

Jane sat beside Darcy with a bowl of strawberries and a glass of champagne. It reminded Darcy of the time at the Albuquerque headquarters when Jane got astronomically drunk and spilled every single secret she had.

"Jane… I just… you don't get it."

Jane sighed and took another swig of champagne.

"Look Darcy, I do know. I know what it's like to wake up crying, and not know which dreams are worse: the dreams where he loves you, or the dreams where he doesn't. I know what it's like to catch a glimpse of long blonde hair in the sunlight, and feel your stomach drop when he turns around and isn't the man you're dying inside to see. I know what it's like to sit out in a lightening storm, praying to whatever gods may or may not exist in this world, that one of them will come back to you."

"But do you know what it's like to have that man leave on his own accord? To come back and destroy your home? To find out that he's killed someone who you greatly respected and loved?"

Jane went silent, motioning for Thor to come over.

"Look Darcy… there's something you should know. Thor doesn't think you're ready… and no one else knows… but…"

Darcy looked to Thor, feeling the tears running down her face.

"Darcy… " Darcy took a deep breath in, preparing to hear that Loki was dead. "I let him go. I sent him back to Earth as a mortal. The same way that my father once did to me."

For the second time that night, Darcy felt the breath knocked out of her as she collapsed onto the floor.

o

_**A/N:**__ Sorry, was in the hospital for some months, not energy to write, it sucked etc. If you want to hear my ranting/raving about the fics I write and updated news about when I'm writing chapters, follow my tumblr: tcorgin._


	4. Chapter 3: Perfection

Chapter 3: Perfection

At first the steady toss of the waves at been unnerving, but as the days became weeks he began to find a very distinct comfort in what the sounds outside his porthole at night would tell him. The sound of gulls would signify that they were close to land, the whipping rain would mean a storm, the gentle lull of silence against the rock of the ocean meant it would be another perfect day.

Growing up he always thought that he had a knack for perfection even though his father never seemed to favor his ways. His plans were always more thorough, his hands more dextrous and his eyes ever so much more calculating. That was perfection, wasn't it? Too see the worst of what's to come and take that a step further? To live the life of a loved man and then become a tyrant?

Not a single sound save the lap of waves against the hull met his ears, and he knew that it was going to be another 'perfect' day - perfect for all of the damned guests. With a groan he sat up and rubbed his temples, small flashbacks of the night before fading in and out of his mind.

"Gin…" He mumbled to himself as he stood up and walked over to his wardrobe, "I'm always such a man for gin…"

Hospitality was definitely the right career for the lost and broken hearted. He'd wake up at three in the afternoon, shower, throw up, eat a bit, work until the guests on the ship all stumbled to bed… then he would get astronomically drunk with the rest of the crew - rinse and repeat. He knew that Thor wanted him to come back to Earth and somehow realize all of his faults. He was supposed to fall to his knees in a storm and cry to the heavens: 'Oh dear brother, take me back! I was oh-so-wrong!", tears mingling with the rain as he poured his heart out to the sky.

… He reckoned he'd made it close enough.

The water of the shower had awful pressure but it was still hot and cleansing, washing away the sweat he'd acquired by sleeping in his suit. Idly he wondered how many times he could possibly sleep in his suave uniform before his boss said something to him. Supposedly that was the role he played now, though: the raggedy, sly and undeniably attractive piano player.

He never really considered music a particular talent of his. He started on the ships as a waiter, mindlessly serving food to inflated customers and pretending to be pleasant. He wondered what his brother would say about working a minimum wage Earth job on a sailing hotel? One night once all of the guests sunk away into the shadows he sat at the piano alone, playing something he'd once heard Idunn playing in their great feast hall. The manager heard, the rest was history.

He picked up his tuxedo off the floor and gave it a sniff, wrinkling his nose at the reek of cheap liquor. After drinking the sweetest wines at the greatest Asgardian feasts, he'd really come a long way. Giving the suit another shake he pulled on a clean white shirt accompanied by the rest, securing at the base of his neck his signature emerald green tie. With a last look in the mirror he opened the door to his cabin, losing himself in the bustle of the staff deck hallways.

Working on a cruise ship was a sweet life: no one asked where you were from or what you wanted to do with your life. As long as you put on a smile and had a drink at the end of the night you were automatically accepted, a real part of the crew. The people were fake and the smiles were forced but that was exactly what he liked about it - every friendly chirp was covered in a thin layer of deceit. He ran up the stairs to the top deck, emerging on the guest level. Instantly an old lady grabbed her arm.

"Hello my songbird!" she slurred, pulling him towards the dance floor. He had absolutely no idea who she was, but assumed that she was another one of his newly made fans. He was happy that the media had cut as much of his image out of the tapes as possible, it allowed him to fade into the background of whichever life he chose.

"Hello my dear, how are you enjoying the evenings festivities?"

He put in hand on her waist, pulling her into a dance. She moved like a much younger woman who obviously knew how to have a good time in her youth. As he took a step forward she took one back, and for once in his life Loki found that he didn't have to lead.

"Oh, marvelous. We'll be in New York in a day, won't we? I wish that I just had a few more days here…"

He cast her away from him, spinning her in a circle as she returned.

"Ah, my sweet - there's no harm in coming back for more. You wouldn't be the first."

Her green eyes were firmly locked on his in an oddly seductive fashion which reminded him of someone. He saw his boss out of the corner of his eye frantically looking around, obviously trying to locate his rogue piano playing.

"Alas my dear, I must leave you. My duty calls."

"Oh won't you stay for one last dance?"

"To have a songbird sing you must first set him free."

She smiled, letting going of his hands.

"Then fly! I expect my other dance at the end of the night."

He smirked at her, blowing a kiss before he turned towards the piano.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

He wasn't sure where or how he'd picked up his charm. With Darcy he always found himself stuttering and faltering, his face heating and hands shaking. Where he wanted to be alluring and seductive he was awkward and nervous, a bumbling virgin compared to Darcy's confident and foxy advances. The very thought of the girl made him shiver and he forced her from his mind.

"For fucks sake, Lochlyn, can you at least brush your hair?"

Being ruled was another thing he'd had a problem with. At first he'd tried to be a waiter in a restaurant, but he quickly found himself fired when he talked back… in quite a fashion… to his manager. On the cruise ship he found that he could honestly talk back or do whatever he wanted because everyone was either too scared or too infatuated to fire him. Good piano players are hard to find, after all.

"But sir, if I brushed my hair how could I possibly look so flawlessly handsome? It ruins the effect if I try."

"Just get on stage. You better sing your little heart out, it's the last night. If you fuck up I'm throwing you in the ocean."

"It's a blessing I can swim."

"Just get up there."

Their piano was polished and new, the keys cold under his sweeping fingers with true, ringing notes. Some nights he'd play jazz, watching couples swing and dip and eventually fall over. Some nights he played bubbled up covers of recent songs which he'd looked up on another staff's computer the night before. Some nights he'd just play wordless music, closing his eyes and listening as the notes bounced and faded in the empty hall. Tonight he would simply play song he liked.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen. I assume you've had an absolutely magical day?"

There was a cheer from the crowd, the majority of them being old ladies who had dragged their husbands along.

"I'm going to start you out with a long I've become rather fond of."

He hit the keys on the piano once, making sure that he had the right chord.

_When are you gonna come down_

_When are you going to land_

_I should have stayed on the farm_

_I should have listened to my old man_

As usually he'd gotten the era right and a lot of the ladies were singing along. He often wondered what happened to Darcy - it hadn't yet occurred to him to check up on her. Some days he thought she would run back into his arms sobbing, wondering where he'd been. Other days he thought that she must hate him, must be disgusted by what he did to her city and planet. He'd seen video footage of what he'd done. He'd seen flooded gutters with hits of blood flickering through the rainwater. He'd seen memorials, funerals, sobbing parents and children crying for their lost mothers.

Admittedly, at first he was proud. He'd finally made a mark that would truly scar a planet forever, and they were defenseless to ever take revenge. One drunken night another crew member admitted to him that his girlfriend had been lost in the wreckage. They'd been together five years, and he'd just proposed the night before at their favorite East Village cafe, the place that they'd met. Hitting him on a personal level he had begun to feel the guilt. Nights where he wasn't drunk he stare at the ceiling, imagining Darcy's twisted body beneath a fallen building.

_So goodbye yellow brick road_

_Where the dogs of society howl_

_You can't plant me in your penthouse_

_I'm going back to my plough_

_Back to the howling old owl in the woods_

_Hunting the horny back toad_

_Oh I've finally decided my future lies_

_Beyond the yellow brick road._

The night proceeded as assumed - he did a few jazz numbers, a few slow songs, the occasional rock song tweaked to suit the piano. It was all proceeding in a satisfactory fashion until his manager ran up near the end of the night to whisper something in his ear.

"Lochlyn.. there's a woman. She'd like to sing up on stage. She said it's a well known song, you'd probably know it."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, send her on. If she can't sing I'm going to be vastly disappointed and no doubt bring it up later when we're both intoxicated."

"Whatever dude, I'll send her up."

He fixed his tie and looked down at his fingers, completely disinterested with whoever wanted to sing. It happened every second night: someone would go slightly over the top with their drinking and decide to prance around on stage.

"Hello everyone, my name's Amy, and as much as I love the songbirds voice, I've been waiting to sing this one for a long, long time. I'll start singing sugar, you can just play along."

_One way or another, I'm gonna find ya,_

_I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha_

_Oh, fantastic, _he thought, _another Blondie fan looking to profess her love to me. _Being a good sport he started to play along, suddenly freezing the second he looked up and made eye contact.

"Don't you want to sing along, what's wrong? Silver tongue turned to lead?"

Not wanting to cause trouble, he kept playing.

She was tall with legs to Asgard, her curled blonde hair falling to her waist in flawless unison. Her floor length green dress curved around her hips and squeezed her breasts together at the strapless bust line, leaving very little to the imagination despite covering so much up. _Why now? Of all the times, why now? _

He played the song through and stood up to leave as quickly as he could, not eager at all to have any confrontation.

"Look everyone, he's running away! I believe he at least owes me a dance."

The back up pianist ran up to take the role on the piano, and the crowd began to yell about how the lady at least should get a dance. He took a deep breath and turned around, a grin spreading across his face.

"Oh course, my dear! I'd be absolutely honored."

He took her hand and pulled her close, disappearing into the crowd. She smelled of cheap perfumed and poison, her lipstick as dark as her intentions.

"You did promise me one last dance…"

She purred into his ear. He shuddered, realizing that the old lady that he'd danced with earlier was far too seductive to be real.

"Do you often wear the skins of old ladies to break into cruise ships, Amora?"

"Oh, only for you. You're worth it."

He spun her in a circle, sidestepping and pulling her close again. He hadn't seen the woman for years, probably the last time at one feast or another. The woman was a crafty tramp - a woman after his own heart.

"Is there a particular point in this visit, or are you just wishing to make me uncomfortable?"

"Oh, there's no use in lying - that's your forte. I'm here because all of these years you've been immune to me, too powerful. But if the rumor came up the tree from the right root… I hear you're nothing more than a man."

The curve of her breast and high collar bones were enticing, he had to admit. He'd always stayed as far away from her as he possible could but he still had to wonder..

"Stop. I have no hunger for you or your magic. You'd gain absolutely nothing from seducing me because there isn't an inch of me that truly wants you."

"Oh, Loki. I don't think that there's a sane man on Earth that _truly_ wants me.. that doesn't mean they don't give in."

"Don't call me that. I'm Lochlyn now. Loki is dead."

Amora threw her head back and cackled, returning to his gaze with sultry eyes.

"You can say that Loki's dead all you want, but there's still that hunger to conquer, to achieve perfection - I can see it in your eyes. So tell me Loki.. don't you see perfection in front of you? Smooth legs, arched back, my nails digging into your arms and my voice in your ear as-"

"Stop."

"Then what is perfection?" Amora asked innocently, her eyes betraying her tone, "a fat little brunette who wears band t-shirts and leggings?"

Loki snapped.

"Perfection is kissing in the janitors closet. It is cold nights and hot mornings and quaking hands, red cheeks and more than anything it's uncertainty. Hazy nights, clear sunsets, awkward breakfast conversations and unexplained feelings. It's her hand squeezing my shoulder and her tongue on my teeth and flashes of her pale skin when she tries to change without me noticing. It's ragged breaths in the middle of the night and staring at the ceiling wondering weather or not I killed her in my power driven rampage, it's playing moments over and over again in my mind trying to decipher the things left unsaid. It's her. That's what it is to me you useless wench, it's her."

Amora broke away from the dance, pouting in a way that Loki knew was an act.

"Oh, well then. I suppose I'll just have to… leave you alone. At least I can say that I've seen a god demoted to a man, and what kind of glorious life he's come to lead."

Before Loki could blink she was gone, leaving him unmoving amongst a crowd of joyfully dancing old folk. He sighed, slipping between people as gracefully as he could and headed towards the staff quarters, not even wanting a drink. Bitterly me mumbled to himself, loosening his tie and shoving it in his pocket, "what glorious life I've come to lead."


	5. Chapter 4: Choices

**Murmurs on Heartstrings**

a sequel to

**Things Left Unsaid**

Chapter 4: **Choices**

By: **Thessaly Corgin**

o

The ladies wept as they filed off the boat, waving to him, confessing their love and promising they'd be back. He replied with kisses on the hand and sweet words and batted eye lashes, no doubt making a place in their hearts forever. He always had to wonder why the younger women never gave him a second look, only their grandmothers.

While other crew members gossiped and took pictures of the broken New York City, Loki only felt sick to his stomach. From afar the city was a broken landscape of crumbling buildings and boatless moors, up close he knew it would be a ghost town. The cruise company hadn't taken it off the sailing list because they couldn't possibly make it from port to port without a stop in Manhattan, and people were still happy to exit at the city and quickly flee to the suburbs. That being said, they always had less customers on any route that landed there. With time the city would surely heal and flourish, re-establishing itself as a capital of the world - Loki had no doubt Stark was already deeply involved in making that happen - but in the mean time it had been attacked by the Hulk, Abomination and his own army in more recent times.

The head steward come by to all of the staff standing on the upper decks.

"Guess what everyone… one night in the disaster capital of the world! We're back to London tomorrow at 5pm, the guests get here at noon so I expect everyone to be over their hangovers by then to greet them."

Loki elbowed the employee next to him, "I heard that rogue aliens that didn't get caught in the blast have taken to stalking throughout the transportation tunnels in the city… and late in the night they patrol the streets and devour innocent cruise ship workers."

The guy laughed, "Well that means they'll eat you too, genius."

Loki turned to leave, grinning malevolently at his colleague, "I said that they devour the innocent. Do I look one inch innocent to you?"

"Hear that everyone? First rounds on Lochlyn!"

Loki shook his head, "Not tonight my friend. I'd rather admired this port at a distance - we have quite the past."

"So you pissed off some girl?"

"Basically."

"All good man, we'll all drink to you."

o

"I don't wanna go."

"Yes you do."

"I don't wanna go."

"Shut up and put on a dress."

"I want to sit on my couch and cry while I watch _When Harry Met Sally._ I'm not putting on a dress and I'm not going outside because it's a Saturday night and miserable people do _not_ go out on Saturday nights."

"Come on, I left Thor behind and everything. It's just you and me and let's face it - we're pretty good looking. We used to have tons of fun when we lived in Albuquerque. At least there will be men around town that we can lead on."

Darcy, who was draped across the couch, leaned her head back to look at over the arm of the couch.

"You don't look so hot upside down."

Jane dropped her handbag and stomped over, picking up the empty ice cream containers and bags of half eaten chips.

"Woman you've been in mourning for months, it's time to just get over it. It's a nice night out - it snowed today and since there's no one around it looks like Christmas."

Darcy stopped breathing. _Christmas. _Last Christmas she had…

"And now you're thinking about Christmas."

"Yes I am."

"And L-"

"Don't say his name."

"Loserface."

"Yeah, Loserface. I'm thinking about him. I'm always thinking about him and he's always in my head."

"Couldn't he read minds or something?"

"Do you ever shut up? I'll get up just so you stop talking."

Jane cheered and pulled Darcy off the couch, dragging her into Darcy's bedroom. She's already pulled dresses out of the closet, displaying them on the bed.

Darcy had always kept a strange relationship with Jane. At first she was absolutely terrified of the woman, worrying that if she made one wrong move she'd get a bad reference from her internship. The Thor incident seemed to bring them closer because Darcy was the only one who really acknowledged that Thor existed, therefore being the only one who Jane could talk to about her feelings surrounding the subject. Once they were both employed at S.H.I.E.L.D. and working at the Albuquerque headquarters their friendship finally broke the final barrier. They fought, they laughed, they cried. They lived together, worked together, did everything together. There were absolutely no secrets between them because honestly, there was no room to keep any. Even with the arrival of Loki, Jane knew absolutely everything that was going on… and was sure to mock Darcy for it.

However…

Darcy also knew drunk Jane, and drunk Jane was a different story. Drunk Jane has no verbal filter, stumbles (especially when wearing heels), is quick to yell secrets out to the general public, spends obscene amounts of money, falls asleep, cries, and worst of all… makes phone calls. Darcy had many fond memories of wrestling a cell phone out of Jane's hand as she tried to call Agent Coulston and tell him what a great time they were having…

_Coulston… _

In a perfect world, Coulston would probably be assigned to them as a chaperone to make sure Jane wasn't yelling S.H.I.E.L.D.'s greatest secrets. Instead they were left alone to their own devices. Darcy couldn't help but snicker lightly - Thor would be meeting drunk Jane soon enough, probably at about 4am when she called S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.

Sober Jane, though, was a wonderful and caring woman who was a lot of fun and only wanted to get Darcy out of the house to have some fun. Darcy reckoned she had another four hours of that before drunk Jane arrived.

"Okay," Jane started, holding up a black dress, "We've got this one. It's kind of frilly, so it might make you look like a fourteen year."

"I'll wear it."

"No you won't, we've also got these ones," She held up two dresses, one red and one green, "Now together they'd make you look like a Christmas tree. But we're not going to put you in two dresses."

"I see why you're an astrophysicist."

"Shush. I reckon the red one's trashy. The green one's kind of sexy, you're wearing that one."

"I thought I was choosing my dress?"

"Not anymore."

She threw the dress to Darcy, running to raid her jewelry box next.

"Go paint your face on, I'm going to find you some stuff in here."

Darcy rolled her eyes and stomped to the bathroom, pulling out her make up bag. A part of her missed the days when Jane spoke to her in an articulate, professional manor. Another part thought it was hilarious to watch an astrophysicist talk about dresses.

She'd bought the green dress for a birthday party the year before. She knew that it looked good, but at the time she'd bought it because it matched Loki's green. He'd already left by that point but she always had some distant hope that one day she'd be at a a party having a good time and he'd just walk in the door. Every time she pictured it she knew exactly how she'd feel - her heart would stop, she'd gasp, she'd stand up and run to him, he'd take her in his arms and kiss her and everything in the world would get it's color back. Everything would be beautiful again.

"Is this gold? These look unreal."

Darcy peeked her head out of the bathroom, her make up half done.

"Oh.. those. They're Asgardian, no idea what they're made of. I think they're crown jewels."

Jane looked at them again.

"You're wearing them."

"I'd really rather not."

"You're wearing them then at the end of the night we're going down to the water and seeing how close to the statue of liberty we can possible throw them."

"You want me to throw them into the ocean?"

"Yes, yes I do."

Darcy thought for a moment, imagining the green gems sinking to the bottom ocean.

"Yup, chuck 'em here.

Jane threw them to Darcy, who put them in her ears before finishing her make up.

"This night is going to rock."

o

Jane had no talent for locating classy establishments, so they always found themselves in the dingiest Irish bar on the most remote street corner of the city. For a change, they ended up in a Scottish one. For some unknown reason it was absolutely packed with people, which was much more exciting than being empty with a few stragglers.

"Jane.. can't we find somewhere a little less gross?"

"Don't be a wimp, come on. I'll call Thor down for backup, he loves Scottish people."

"Has he ever even met a Scottish person?"

"… I actually don't know."

They made their way up to the bar and sat down on the stools, Darcy taking inventory of everyone around them. No matter how hard she tried and how much she convinced herself that she was over everything, she still always found herself scanning crowds for his face. Sometimes she'd catch sight of a dark head of hair or the flash of daring green eyes, but after a second her skipped heartbeat would turn to disappointment. It was never him.

Darcy wondered what would happen if he did come back - obviously she couldn't just drag him around SHIELD headquarters, there was bound to be a bit of animosity there. She imagined she'd just have to run away with him and disappear… could people even disappear?

"Hey there tiger, can I buy you a drink?"

Darcy snapped out of her daydream to find a rather attractive Scottish man in front of her.

"Do Scottish people always hang out in Scottish bars?"

She replied absently, completely forgetting how to properly talk to men. He responded with a boyish smile and a laugh, "Aye, they certainly attract us. Had to bring my crew somewhere, and I know you can always find a friendly face at these places."

"Your crew? Are you a sailor?"

"How about I grab us some drinks then I'll tell you all about it. You want some kind of cocktail?"

"Gin. Gin and tonic."

"Gin and tonic? What are you, forty? You'd like our piano player, old man is always drinking gin."

Darcy smiled to herself as the man shuffled forward to get a drink. She'd never been much of a gin person beforehand, but when she cleared out Loki's empty room in the old SHIELD headquarters she'd found her weight in the stuff. For months the bottles had sat in a dark cupboard, but once she worked up the courage to try it she actually found that she rather enjoyed the stuff.

"There you are love, a gin and tonic."

He slid the gin and tonic across the bar to and sat down, taking a swig of his beer.

"Now, as you were asking - I work as a bartender on a cruise ship. We're all just here for the evening until we sail away tomorrow."

"A cruise ship? That's crazy! Do you just spend your life sailing around the world?"

"Of course. Sailing around the world, doing as I please, never having many consequences. As long as you pass a basic background check nobody asks any questions and you're all just family."

"So you sail in circles and leave some path of destruction?"

"That's pretty much the concept. Our piano player I mentioned - Lochlyn - wouldn't come out tonight because he apparently made some big mess back here with a girl. If we leave something behind we usually just sit out the next time the port comes around."

"Honestly, that sounds like a pretty good life to me."

"Ever been on a cruise ship?"

Darcy thought for a moment. She was sure that she'd gone on some Disney Cruise or another as a child, but couldn't quite pull up any distinct memories of it.

"I think I have. Not as an adult, though, I imagine it would be much more fun."

"Dancing, drinking, dining. All of the best!"

"But aren't cruise ships totally an old person thing?"

"Yeah, they do tend to fall into that category. We've had more folks than usual because they're all flocking to our musicians. Old ladies die for 'em."

"I'll have to give it a go sometime."

"Well, we start boarding at noon tomorrow and tickets are cheap because no one likes New York anymore."

"That's… silly."

"It's impulsive and exciting."

"GREETINGS FRIENDS."

Darcy's conversation with her handsome Scottsman was interrupted by a booming voice. The two of them whipped around to see a familiar blonde at the door, making his way down the staircase into the bar. Darcy was bored by Thor - she saw him on a fairly regular basis - but then rest of the bar wasn't. To them he was basically a world saving celebrity. Things were probably going to get fairly out of hand quickly. She pushed through the crowed over to Jane, who was watching people flock around Thor with great amusement.

"Jane what are you thinking bringing him here?"

Jane shrugged and laughed, "He'll keep all of the riffraff out and he's good fun. Come on, you know he's a good drinker. And I want to ask him why he's never given me any Asgard crown jewels."

Darcy sighed, thinking about how it was probably going to be another night where she walked home and felt the ever pressing weight of loneliness.

"Jane," she said, "I'm going to throw those earrings into the ocean."

"Oh? Good, want to go down to the water and do it now?"

"No, I have bigger plans."

"Bigger plans?"

"I'm going to throw them into the middle of the ocean whilst on a cruise ship, surrounded by beautiful men and good music."


End file.
